Realisation

I was asked to do something yesterday that shed new light on the way I view myself. I was asked to write down 3 words that described me as a person, I found this incredibly easy. And no, not because I used the usual stereotype of "kind", "caring", "thoughtful" because to be honest I don't view myself in this way. Yes I love my friends, I care for them, be kind and am always thoughtful towards them but I don't think that these are traits to describe the true workings of my personality. Some people may be this way to the core, but I am a complicated creature that even I don't understand. I chose the words, "sarcastic", "ditsy" and "laid-back". As soon as I wrote these words it struck me that I'm not at all consistent.

I wish I was one of those people that could define themselves at the drop of a hat, know what they want, who they are and exactly where they want to be in 5 years, but I think I'm just reluctant. The second question was, "When looking at these words, what chocolate bar do you think best fits your personality?"
Well, first of all I'm not entirely sure how a chocolate bar can be sarcastic so I was immediately flustered by this question. I looked at the words, once more noting that they are so inconsistent and basically hold a big mish-mash of personal traits probably held by someone with slight confusions about who they actually are, and decided upon "double decker". Probably mostly because I was hungry and the vending machine in my building seems to be filled with them, but also because, well lets be honest, its a big mess with lots of layers that don't really make much sense, but really seem quite interesting once being consumed.

The third question, "What car best describes your personality?" Once again, a sarcastic car? I think we will bypass that word. Ditsy? I guess it'll have to be pink then. Laid back? Oh I just don't know. So I settled with a pink monster truck. I don't think I quite grasped the point in this task, either that or I'm just completely crazy and have no concept of normality. Maybe I should scrap the word laid-back if I think a monster truck describes me as a person? Fourth question, "What animal best fits your personality?" A duck seems good, lets go for that shall we?

So to sum up, I'm a sarcastic, ditsy, laid-back duck who enjoys driving pink monster trucks. Perfect.

When thinking about the craziness that is me, I started searching for any consistency within anything to do with myself. I enjoy/live/breath fashion. It is my way of showing who I am, my mood that day, how I feel and what I want. For example, right now I am wearing pajama bottoms, an oversized hoody stolen from an ex boyfriend ( I say stolen in the way that there is no point in returning it as I shrunk it in the wash, doubt he would want it back) and rather large Ugg style slippers. My mood being, I can't be arsed and don't intend in moving much. My hair is unwashed and my arms still sport strange quotations written in biro pen from a night out that is not much remembered. I always feel that the outfits that best reflect me as a person are the ones worn at night-time, dressed up to the nines, heels and all. A Geordie girl at heart, we don't do things by half's. You only have to look at my best friend Hannah to realise this, although she is a bit of an exception to the system, sporting a style I have never come across in another human. Slightly retro, slightly rock chick, slightly girly, slightly crazy to say the least. But always without fail, bang on trend.

Hannah, being what she is, and doing it well.

Style staple will always be the hair.

Slightly feminine, rock chick leather jacket and sliver studded belt, Moroccan inspired swimsuit and on-trend grey bandeau skirt. And as always large bouffant hair.

Unlike me, Hannah knows exactly what she wants to look like, having already created her own style and "owning it". There is no point in imitating something so obviously individual because it never works. I always try to have one particular style that is completely my own, but i am indecisive, not only about clothes but about most things. Where to eat, where to go clubbing, what colour to have my hair, what university to go to, i leave this to others to decide. Always a bad idea, because for someone so indecisive, I am just too picky!